Sexy Salad between Two Famous Murderers
by Eye-Freak
Summary: It would be great if Kisame and Itachi had a break from all the missions the leader gives them, so they settle in a fancy restaurant with a bunch of suspicious people. What will the two members do?
1. Chapter 1

**Author: Oh wow, haven't been made a fanfic in what... Over a good year? Anyways, I'm back with a new KisameXItachi fanfic. I've seen improvement that there are more of them, but I still think there should be more since we know more about Kisame's and Itachi's backgrounds. Anyways enough with my babbling off, have fun reading this**

**Warning: Suggestive Sexual themes, mild violence, Alcohol use. . . There will be a lot more in the second chapter.**

**Location: Olive Garden in Konohagakure. Okay, before any of you complain, there are restaurants in the Naruto world, just nothing like Olive Garden.. BUT I made it the old fashioned Olive Garden (Lol, fail on me), so no complaints and I hope you enjoy it anyways.**

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Not even properly dressed up for a fancy restaurant such as Olive Garden, even if it was night time, Itachi and Kisame were in their usual Akatsuki uniformed attire sitting down in a booth across from one another. Gigantic maroon colored menus blocking view from their faces.

"... None of these appear healthy." commented Itachi, scanning over each food listed twice the place had to offer.

"Ah, Itachi-san. Eating a big course meal for tonight won't be that bad. Lets take a break from all these Jinchuuriki chases and live it up a little, ne'?" Kisame chuckled, already storing what he was going to have in his mind.

"I'll just have what you're having, as long as it's not steak. We're on a tight budget anyway." Itachi turned his gaze towards his partner with no expression spot on his face.

Before Kisame had the chance to answer, a female waitress with the legit long blonde hair, blue eyes, and curvy hourglass figure skipped her way to the Akatsuki members, holding a compressed transparent glass bowl with salad and chopped vegatables inside, and a basket of long bread rolls.

"Hello Sirs, may I get you something to drink? And if you're ready to order, that's also fine." She offered them both a sickly sweet smile, placing the bowl and basket on the table between the two. Two bowls were already settled in front of Kisame and Itachi when they first arrived, so it wouldn't be hard to seperate the salad.

Itachi didn't buy the 'valley girl' look or personality, just looked back down at his menu as if it were the means to ignore her. Kisame rubbed the back of his neck, grinning sheepishly in return and waving a hand up in the air.

"Ah, yes. Two glasses of water a long with the finest bottle of wine you have," Kisame answered. "As well as a medium bowl of three cheese pasta. That will be all."

The waitress nodded and jotted their order down, but once she did, she looked up at Itachi, finding him pretty attractive. Noticing this straight off, Kisame shot her a odd and rather overprotective look, the woman knowing she should back away. The Uchiha simply had no intentions to speak to her or start any arguements, closing his eyes in thought.

The female gulped, quickly rushing away from the table of the Akatsuki members, going to a regular couple that was obviously less dangerous than a Sharkman and a Sharingan user. Or at least attempted.

Once she crossed her ankles at an awkward position from being nervous, she accidently tripped and fell face first. People turned their heads to see what happened, but no one bothered to help her. Fortunately for her, she wasn't carrying any food or glass at the time. She stood up, huffed, gave Kisame and Itachi a quick glare, and stomped off into the kitchen as if to hide her embarassment from the current crowd.

The two Akatsuki members stacked their menus to the side. Kisame couldn't resist but to chuckle. Itachi shook his head in disgust.

"... I hate females." Itachi spoke quietly, fetching up some salad into his once empty bowl, not even bothering to capture a glance of his partner.

"Some girls are pretty attractive, Fun to bang as well, I think. But they do work too hard to gain your attention, ne'?"

Silence winded over them.

Stabbing the leaves, cucumbers, and tomato pieces inside the bowl with his fork in a obnoxious matter, Itachi quietly sighed.

"Something the matter?" Apparently the Shark-nin already had his salad prepared with ranch dressing drizzled all over it. Himself having a mouthful of it. It wasn't a problem though, since he possessed those fearsome sharp teeth. He could pretty much chew anything up quickly without any concern.

Instead of using the fork, the Uchiha left it dangling against the side of the bowl and decided to pick up a tomato slice and popped it between his lips to chew politely, nodding at Kisame.

"Yes."

As the ex seven swordsmen continued to munch on his salad, his eyes wandered over to a warm bowl of fried squid, then to the basket of bread. Grabbing a long roll, he wrapped the soft food up with several napkins before tucking it into the deep pocket that he had on his cloak. Looking back up at the younger male, he merely chuckled.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Itachi watched him put the wrapped bread into his pocket, raising a brow in curiousity.

"No. . ." He paused for a moment. "Why did you do that? It's just going to go to waste and become hard."

"That's not the only thing that's getting hard," The Shark-nin laughed at his joke, or at least attempted to make it seem like he was kidding. "Besides, I like hardened food. Makes more of a challenge for me to eat."

Itachi rolled his charcoal hued orbs to the side, trying to forget what the elder just said, but it stuck inside of his mind. Hiding a good portion of his face inside of the high neck collar attached to his cloak, he blushed faintly, making sure his partner was unable to see his weakness.

Kisame rose a brow before smiling widely as if Itachi would become his delicious dessert, he went to speak but got interupted again by the waitress who previously embarassed herself in front of the entire restaurant.

She didn't even try to strike up a friendly conversation, just placed the two glasses of water in between them and the big bottle of wine. All she said was "We'll get your food as soon as we can," and hurried off.

"... Hm." The raven haired male poked his face back out to the world, picking up the glass and sipping on it contently.

Kisame picked up the bottle, pulled off the cork and chugged right out of it. Swallowing and smacking his lips to the bittersweet taste.

"Kisame, calm down on that. . ." Itachi said. "I want some too, you know."

A snicker left the former Kirigakure citizen, moving the bottle over towards the Uchiha, which he picked up after, taking minor sips from it.

Kisame timidly tapped his fingers on the edge of the table, staring at his partner in want.

"Ah. . . Itachi-san, I'll go wash up. I feel awkward." Kisame then excused himself from the booth, wandering over to the men's bathroom, but it was nearly impossible to get by with the crowds of waiters and lines of people complaining, shouting, and waiting to get to their tables.

The pacifist wondered if he had done something wrong. Taking one more huge gulp from the alcoholic beverage, he carefully set it down beside his barely eaten salad and stood up to follow his larger partner.

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**Author: Alright, give me reviews on what you think, I'm still going to continue because I think the next chapter will be very worth while.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author: Chapter 2 is up**

**Warning: Yaoi, Sex, Doggy-style, lots of cum, drool, mild violence, mild language, anal sex, romance, soreness. And yeah...**

**Enjoy!**

As Itachi made his way towards the men's bathroom, the door slid open to reveal a long white haired male. One of the legendary Sannin in Konohagakure. Keeping silent, the black haired male rushed past the taller man, accidently bumping into his shoulder. Fortunately for the Uchiha, Jiraiya didn't seem to notice this, making his way into the ladies room.

Deciding not to ask since it was safer that way, Itachi continued to go into the restroom and waited for the door to shut behind him to find Kisame splashing water on his face from the sink.

"... You okay, Kisame?" He stepped over to to the Demon of the Mist, not afraid of him. Actually showing concern for him instead of vice versa.

He did not respond however.

Water slithered down the Hoshigaki member's gigantic appendages, watching it spiral into the drain in the center of the sink. Instead of drying his hands, he rested one roughly sculpt blue palm onto the silver skull decorated hilt of his Samehada, smiling convincingly as he hooked his other hand onto Itachi's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. The younger of the duo didn't fight against it, just leaned closer to speak quietly into his ear.

"We better get back to eat before it arrives and gets cold." His soft tone drove the Shark-nin insane.

"What's the point in that if we can just stay here and have fun, eh?" Chuckling, Kisame removed the hand that was once on his Samehada to rest on the shoulder that was lonely on his little weasel friend. "Lets spend more time together here. . . Away from public eyes."

"Stop being ridiculous. This is a public bathroom."

Kisame snorted in amusement to the words his partner spoke.

"Oh come the fuck on, Itachi-san. Stop being bashful."

Itachi's eyes wandered over to the urinals built in against the smoothly marble sculpt walls as well as the stalls. One door was closed. Was it possible somebody was spying on them? If so, this would cause great suspicion and danger in the future. He was about to walk over to the closed stall to check it out, but was grabbed by stronger and big hands, being forced to rub his back against the other's heaving and nicely toned chest.

"... Let go, Kisame." He struggled against him, but the other did not budge or allow him to escape.

Unzippering the bothersome cloak near his chest and peeling the high neck collar down around Itachi's neck like a banana peel, he attacked both sides of his beloved's neck, making sure to teasingly tug at the baby soft flesh and giving it noticable bruises. The black ponytail that was worn by the Uchiha swayed in many directions, eventually flowing out hair when the rubberband was ripped off by shark inherited teeth. Toes incurling within his zori shoes, staying calm and allowing his partner to do whatever as long as he was still about to see his surroundings. More focused on the closed stall. Kisame's hands explored to clap over the other's own, lacing fingers through. Mumbling against his throat with warm breath that caused the pale man's flesh to prickle to the sensation.

"Not now. . . I'm just getting started, baby," Kisame gave one more playful nip to the hickey he created, turning it from a pinkish red to a reddish purple hue. ". . . Hm? Something seems to be distracting you."

"I believe there is an imposter in this very room with us," He explained, shuddering at the touch of fangs and blue lips brushing against his now decorated skin. "So I suggest we stop now."

"They can wait. . . Or even better, they can watch entertainment performed by the two famous murderers and traitors of their own village, ne'?"

"You know I don't like PDA. . ."

But Kisame didn't seem to understand what 'stop' meant, just wanting the mature, but younger shinobi all the more by how much he was resisting such positive attention. Unstrapping the Samehada from his back, he didn't use it for anything, just to lose more baggage of weight on his body, placing it beside the sink where he previously washed his face, it still running water.

Pulling down the uniform, so that it dropped to the floor, that was worn by the Sharingan user, the Shark-nin clicked his teeth in compliment to his partner's rather attractive and slender figure. Itachi sighed in defeat, knowing words wouldn't go through well enough to that thick headed man's brain anytime soon.

"Well, aren't you going to strip too, Kisame?" After taking off his fish-net shirt, he rose a brow to his partner who just stepped closer to him, pulling a wrapped up item out from one of his pockets.

"First. . . I want to tease you,"

This would've been the perfect time for the Jaws Theme song to blast out.

Suddenly appearing behind him, Kisame tore off all the napkins to reveal the once soft and cuddly bread roll. Now it being hard as a rock like Itachi predicted. Crouching down to his knees, he grabbed the other male and reeled him in closer, throwing him to the ground beside his abadoned cloak. Lifting the bread up, he swung it down to the raven's clothed behind. The Uchiha winced in response, shooting a death glare at the one who just spanked him with a grain product.

"What was that for?"

Not answering, the taller Akatsuki member grabbed the other's pant legs, swiftly pulling off his pants as well as his black boxers, throwing them to the side. Spanking him once more with the bread, his free hand latched out and clutched onto multiple of black hairstrands belonging to his love. Yanking his head back, they embraced lips in a romantic and passionate way. Even though his hair was pulled, Itachi didn't seem angered one bit. Not have his hands bound, he slid them up when turning around and resting his hands onto the Mist-nin's face. Encouraged by this motive, their mouths smacked and smashed against one another to the point of bruising. Itachi's back was bashed against the wall while Kisame spanked him another time on the undercurves with his bare butt exposed.

This time, the bread broke in half. He left it on the floor. It being known as useless now.

Itachi let a loud and desperate pant escape his lips, it vibrating down Kisame's throat. Departing the kiss, saliva stretched out between them. The elder vacuumed up the drool and gave a sloppy kiss to his lover's lips before gifting his chest, abdomen, and inner thighs with harsh and succulent kisses. Hands groped on those tender and slender thighs, spreading legs out to playfully slide his tongue down that delicious, thick, veiny, and thobbing member the Uchiha was born with.

Moans filled the bathroom and it was only caused by that sneaky optimistic weasel.

Unbuckling his pants to have it surround his ankles, the Shark-nin swooped down and went back to giving a bunch of love bite to the other's already sore and abused throat area.

"... A-...ah.. Kisame, fuc.. fucking stop. . ."

The pressure of the bulges hidden inside of Kisame's briefs eagerly brushed against the male's naked body, his penis erecting from all the attention. Needing to release, the Shark-nin was about to pull down his underwear, but Itachi stopped him by first stroking a hand against the cheek that was covered with gils. Blushing a purple hue, the elder became quiet as the raven haired male bent over flexibly, slowly moving the other's briefs down, kissing at his muscular and attractive abs, then went back to lean against the structure he was bashed into earlier. Once his penises were revealed, yes there was two, the massive blue appendages curved upwards in need, lightly pressing to the tiny hole beneath the Uchiha's ballsack.

Black colored eyes soon transformed into crimson scarlet in a single blink. Tomes spinning constantly inside of the round iris. Arms dangling around the ex seven swordsmen's thick neck securely, hesitating cries of pain scurried out of the victim's lips once penetrated, without any substance that could've been referred to as lubricant, by the more powerful man.

Only one erection was snuggling inside of the tightened anus. It becoming extremely warm, the anal passage walls loosening after every individual thrust that was in session. Kisame grunted, struggling inside, wanting to tear the man apart. Tears perked out from Itachi's red eyes, but he did well to keep them inside the tear-ducts, constantly getting slammed against the wall, impacting a hole the size of his skull on the once smooth surface.

"K-Kisa... Kisame..."

Purple polished nails scratched down the other's stable back, leaving thinned marks. Driving him up the wall, literally, Kisame pulled out with precum dripping and painting near his feet. Flipping the dazed Uchiha around to have him lean awkwardly onto the sink that wasn't running water, the Shark-nin grinned sadistically. Arms slithered about his partner's chest, slamming both of his dicks inside of him. Itachi bit his lower lip, stopping himself from crying out this time. Gaining control, he moved perfectly with the melodic grinds and rough bangage going on, despite hitting the sink and gaining more wounds than necessary, the two were enjoying theirselves. Moaning out to no World's worry.

"H-heh.. Itachi-san.. You're so.. gorgeous, you know that?"

Kisame purposely moaned and panted inside the shell of his ear, sucking on the lobe, stroking down his neglected member, making sure he had gained the affection he needed to get a good orgasm.

Ejaculating a good load inside of the handsome one, Kisame sighed in relief, affectionately nuzzling his nose onto his love's bruised neck, kissing it. Excessive cum dripped out, even with both of the male's penises stuck far inside of his anus. This made him feel weird. Swishing noises splashed inside of the shinobi, the cum staining down the back of his thighs. There was still plenty of cum inside of the other either way. To show he wasn't done making love to him, the elder chuckled loudly and slammed himself all the way, as far as he could go, inside of the poor raven haired man.

When tickling the prostate, the Uchiha batted his feminine eyelashes in awe and astonishment, enjoying the sexual stimulation. Bumping his rounded ass against the male to have him further inside of him, the pitcher gladly granted the wish, slamming in and out constantly. The sticky substance spilling out like a waterfall in a mystical forest.

Pre-cum managed to leak out of the slit on Itachi's penis, but it wasn't enough to fulfill destination of a excellent orgasm. No longer hitting the sink, he was pushed onto the ground doggy-style, which was perfect since the man who was uncontrollably fucking him panted like a horny dog. Twitching and weakly moving with the thrusts, the youth moaned a bit hungrily, getting pumped again at the same time of having his prostate stimulated.

"T-that's it..."

The Shark-nin cooed at him, stroking his hair with his nose, bending over before releasing again inside of him. More of the cum invaded the very loosened anus he previously butchered and ruined. Wanting more than that. Wanting to rip him apart. Itachi reached his orgasm, gasping with widened mangekyou sharingan activated eyes. The seed ribboning out of him, decorating the silky smooth floorings and his stomach. The work of Kisame's semen making the Uchiha squirm like a worm on a hook.

"M-mmn... That was... great Itachi-san." Kisame admitted with a sigh of relief.

Excessive cum bubbling out, even with the male giving minor thrusts, it drizzled out messily. Plopping out of the anus he destroyed, he laughed softly, turning him around and kissing him softly on the lips. Itachi had his regular eyes restored, dazed off into space, but feeling the kiss, he kissed back and was cradled within his lover's arms.

The aroma of muskiness, sweat, cum, and mild blood levitated in the air, but they both admired the stench.

Kisame dressed himself and Itachi back up, lifting the teenager up from the ground since he was unable to walk. Maybe for a good while.

"Heh.. We should do this more often, ne'?" Kisame went towards the exit with the rather cute and innocent appearing boy cradle in his arms, but stopped when a flush occured.

Itachi was right again. Someone was in there. Watching them.

Setting the Uchiha down, Kisame grinned and fetched for his Samehada silently. The door to the stall was wide opened, out came Tobi, clapping for the two.

"Wow, Itachi-kun! You sure do squeal nicely for an uptight jerk!" The masked male giggled, but he was unaware of Kisame being behind him when the chance came.

An anime blood vein was found on the side of the blue skinned face, knocking the sorry Uchiha's ass out by swinging the thick end of his blade across his head. A sickening crack triggered when Tobi's neck went in an awkward position, hitting the ground neck first. He passed out at the attack.

"Heh.. That was a piece of cake, eh Itachi-san?"

Walking back to the male, he still appeared to be dazed and all out of it.

No matter, the Hoshigaki member thought. This is a compliment that I did well on fucking his brains out.

Lifting him up, something moist was felt on his bum area, despite being clothed. It must've been the cum. Wow! It was that thick to be felt through?

Kisame shrugged, finding this to be a really perfect night and date as he waltzed out with Itachi, leaving Tobi knocked out on the bathroom carried him to the table. The food was set there, but all he grabbed was the half emptied bottle of wine. Carrying the Uchiha and bottle out of Olive Garden without paying the bill, the Akatsuki member laughed.

No one dared, the manager or waitress, NOBODY went up to him and harassed him for not paying the bill. They didn't even get to eat the course meal, since they were having too much 'fun'.

"Next time. . ." Itachi spoke so faintly, it was almost hard to hear him from a distance, but Kisame heard him loud and clear, since well, he was holding him in his arms, walking into a forest towards the Akatsuki hideout. "I'm picking the place. . ."

"Deal. I'm satisfied as long as you're here, Itachi-san."

Howls of laughter echoed out, but then faded by how deep the two were going into the forest. And maybe if Itachi wasn't so sore, he would go in a different direction.

**Author: Tada... Not my best, but I like it**.


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